PHOTO BY DENICE BAKER
Jack E's 10 Tips for New (Female) Drummers
1. Know that players like you are a dime a dozen. It is not unusual to be a female drummer in most musical realms these days. Don't rely on your gender as your drumming identity.
2. Let your body move like a drummer's body should. Don't maintain that stick-up-the-ass with robot arms posture so many have on the drum throne. Your entire body should move fluidly and rhythmically.
3. Don't be afraid to make drumming faces. Drumming is not glamorous. Never has been. Never will be.
4. Exercise regularly. Get in the best fucking shape of your life. Drumming won't do this for you, but it'll be easier to nail all those parts if you've been training.
5. Eat well. Take vitamins and eat mostly vegetables and healthy proteins. Drink therapeutic herbal teas. Consume copious amounts of clean fresh water at all times, especially the day of a show.
6. Hit hard. Not purely for the sake of hitting hard - your drumming should match your music - but uncertain lack-luster motions (in rock music) lead to underwhelming sonic results.
7. Dress like somebody who belongs onstage. Sure, you have to dress for comfort (denim with no stretch ain't gonna cut it), but you're not a groupie or a stage hand. Don't wear ugly fucking shit purely for comfort, unless that's truly how you want to present yourself.
8. Don't be afraid to be as masculine as you are feminine. There is nothing girly about sitting on a stool with your legs open. Don't play coy, 'cause your fuckin' legs are open for business.
9. Know how to set up and maintain your drum kit. Never let sound engineers, stage hands, other drummers, or audience members betlittle your knowledge of the drums. If they treat you like shit tell them you don't need their advice, and to go fuck themselves.
10. KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE FUCKING DRUMS!!! This means practising many hours a day forever. Don't rely on that ubiquitous "You're pretty good...for a girl" audience response. Blow them all away with your abilities, not your bouncing boobies.